This FAQ was orginally posted to ne.politics
back in 1994.
There is a much more complete
Speed Bump FAQ
Q: Who is Stephen Boursy, and why does alt.fan.stephen-boursy exist?
A: Stephen Boursy
(boursy@world.std.com)
(*) is a frequent poster on
ne.politics and
ne.general, (which he calls his "home on the
net"), whose outrageous and utterly witless behavior earned him this group.
His most eggregious actions were exiting cyberspace into the real world and
harassing the employers
of several posters who disagreed with him on a local ballot issue. He
has modified other people's writings and then replied to his own rewritten
versions, written and responded to his own flame bait, and degenerated into
neologisms. (A neologism in this context is a meaningless word or phrase
coined by a psychotic.) All of this, of course, was crossposted to irrelevant
newsgroups. Many people have left ne.general as a result.
Q: Who is Speed Bump?
A: When Steve was harassing posters' employers and insisting that
the employer was responsible for Usenet postings, Barry Perlman (a good guy
(me) who works at Thinking Machines Corporation) added this disclaimer to
a message:
(This message was produced entirely by the brain of the organic creature known as Barry Perlman, and is not endorsed by any thinking machine or any corporate entity. Anyone who does not understand this without explicit statement should consider a new career as a Speed Bump.)Steve has been known far and wide as Speed Bump.
Q: Did Speed Bump really have a lobotomy?
A: He says he did.
Q: Did Thinking Machines really implant a microchip in Speed Bump's
brain?
A: No. That allegation is totally false. TMC has never implanted a
microchip in the brain of any human or other organic creature.
Q: Why can't Speed Bump spell?
A: We don't know, but strongly suspect an anencephalic disorder, which
is consistent with his other behavior.
Q: What other honors has Speed Bump earned?
A: A number of other titles were granted to Speed Bump, mostly during
the period of his most intense harassment of posters' employers. They include,
but are not limited to:
ShitforBrains
Sleazy Brownshirt (since abandoned in favor of Schoolyard Bully)
Schoolyard Bully
Silly Buffoon
Spurious Bullshit
Specious Baloney
Spoiled Brat
Seriously Braindamaged
Socialist Bureaucrat (earned during the rent control debate, see below)
Simpleminded Boob
Simplistic Balderdash
Screaming Baby
Single-watt Bulb
Scurrilous Blather
Spewing Bile
Small Brain
Stink Bomb
Suppurating Boil
Hindenberg (after the famous flaming gasbag)
Q: What does Speed Bump like?
Q: What's the best way to deal with Speed Bump?
A: That's really up to you, but consider how you would respond to
a Stinking Bum on the street, drooling and screaming about conspiracies and
demanding spare change. It's best not to take him at all seriously. Most
important is to keep a sense of humor and a sense of perspective.
(This message is the responsibility of its organic author. Any claims that Thinking Machines has implanted a microchip in the brain of Stephen Boursy, also known as Speed Bump, are absolutely false and libelous.)