Curiously enough, this very image is the frontpiece to the latest edition of the Whipsnade-Ramen Correspondence: Volume XXI, the War Years. Lovingly edited by a gang of Vargr POWs, this volume once again delivers fascinating insights into the fames duo's inner workings. Who, for example, cannot hear the pathos involved in this dispatch?:
110-1107
Most honored chum,
Can you PLEASE replace the liquor dispenser in Emil the Valet Bot? Everything he mixes these days tastes like a Zhodane Sunrise.
I remain, yr. hmbl. svt,
FR
Faced with the hard task of distracting a war-torn sector, Larsen displays a touching willingness to bury himself in the minutiae of ordinary life, the better to help him prepare for the carnage of the Rhylanor front:
228-1108
My most excellent and esteemed sir:
As you no doubt know by now, "The Kid," star right fielder of the Mora Blue-Bellies, hit his 600th home run last night, a new Spinward Marches record. Kudos to the Mighty Splinter!
More to the point, his homer, a game-winner in the ninth, propelled your favorites, the Cosmopolitans, into a last-place hole that it is now mathematically impossible for them to escape from. As per our agreement, the Sum of Cr 5000, ten boxes of Aramis cigars, and a case of Zilan wine are now payable to me on demand, which you may consider this note to be.
I remain, etc.,
Larsen E. Whipsnade
PS Do not substitute Garda-Villisian tobacco for the cigars as I am no fool.
However, the larger events of history are not neglected, as seen in this dispatch from the flagship of Norris' Secret Expedition, where Mr. Ramen was serving as a Scout Auxilliary:
[date censored]
Chum,
The strangest thing just happened. After spending several days on
the surface of --------, which we have been orbiting for a week now,
Duke Norris returned to the flagship and burst onto the bridge,
clutching a piece of paper. Squealing in that high-pitched voice we both
know so well, he exclaimed: "Branj! I've got it! the Imperial Warrant!"
He then started to caper about the bridge, loudly exclaiming his
plans for using the Warrant: "I'm going to redecorate
Glisten System--pink and taupe, what a hoot! Oh, and orchestra
seats at La Scala Nova on Mora! And--And--I'm going shoe shopping!"
Rapidly assessing the situation, I immediately offered to carry out
these orders and any others that might need a little "doing," if he
would just "lend" me the warrant. I was getting close to an
agreement (the Warrant for my complete two decades Holocrystal collection of
"Sex in the Subsector" and a pair of Manolo Blahniks I acquired on Mora)
when Branj burst in with a platoon of Imperial Marines and sent me back
to my window washing station on deck ZZ double Alpha. Some days you just
can't win...
I rmn.,
F
In all, Volume XXI of the Whipsnade-Ramen papers is another solid contribution to the history of the Fifth Frontier Wars and belongs on the bookshelf of anyone with about a cubic meter of space to spare.
Fred "That's pretty much what the real thing looks like" Ramen