Ramen & Whipsnade, the War Years Correspondence

Curiously enough, this very image is the frontpiece to the latest edition of the Whipsnade-Ramen Correspondence: Volume XXI, the War Years. Lovingly edited by a gang of Vargr POWs, this volume once again delivers fascinating insights into the fames duo's inner workings. Who, for example, cannot hear the pathos involved in this dispatch?:


Most honored chum,

Can you PLEASE replace the liquor dispenser in Emil the Valet Bot? Everything he mixes these days tastes like a Zhodane Sunrise.

I remain, yr. hmbl. svt,


Faced with the hard task of distracting a war-torn sector, Larsen displays a touching willingness to bury himself in the minutiae of ordinary life, the better to help him prepare for the carnage of the Rhylanor front:


My most excellent and esteemed sir:

As you no doubt know by now, "The Kid," star right fielder of the Mora Blue-Bellies, hit his 600th home run last night, a new Spinward Marches record. Kudos to the Mighty Splinter!

More to the point, his homer, a game-winner in the ninth, propelled your favorites, the Cosmopolitans, into a last-place hole that it is now mathematically impossible for them to escape from. As per our agreement, the Sum of Cr 5000, ten boxes of Aramis cigars, and a case of Zilan wine are now payable to me on demand, which you may consider this note to be.

I remain, etc.,

Larsen E. Whipsnade

PS Do not substitute Garda-Villisian tobacco for the cigars as I am no fool.

However, the larger events of history are not neglected, as seen in this dispatch from the flagship of Norris' Secret Expedition, where Mr. Ramen was serving as a Scout Auxilliary:

[date censored]

The strangest thing just happened. After spending several days on the surface of --------, which we have been orbiting for a week now, Duke Norris returned to the flagship and burst onto the bridge, clutching a piece of paper. Squealing in that high-pitched voice we both know so well, he exclaimed: "Branj! I've got it! the Imperial Warrant!"
He then started to caper about the bridge, loudly exclaiming his plans for using the Warrant: "I'm going to redecorate Glisten System--pink and taupe, what a hoot! Oh, and orchestra seats at La Scala Nova on Mora! And--And--I'm going shoe shopping!"
Rapidly assessing the situation, I immediately offered to carry out these orders and any others that might need a little "doing," if he would just "lend" me the warrant. I was getting close to an agreement (the Warrant for my complete two decades Holocrystal collection of "Sex in the Subsector" and a pair of Manolo Blahniks I acquired on Mora) when Branj burst in with a platoon of Imperial Marines and sent me back to my window washing station on deck ZZ double Alpha. Some days you just can't win...

I rmn.,


In all, Volume XXI of the Whipsnade-Ramen papers is another solid contribution to the history of the Fifth Frontier Wars and belongs on the bookshelf of anyone with about a cubic meter of space to spare.

Fred "That's pretty much what the real thing looks like" Ramen

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