"Bruce Campbell is to crazy cool as Chuck Norris is to roundhouse kicks"
"at least I'll die as I've lived my life"
"Erect at awkward times?"
" ... yes "
"Of course sex is completely animalistic and primitive. The good kind is, anyway. Some of the worst sex I've ever had was with guys with whom I went to grad school. Any straight guy who's chosen to take "The Power of the Vagina: Gender Performance in Renaissance Drama," nine times out of ten, is not going to be a great lay. In my experience, anyway. He's just a little too in touch with his feminine side." -- Forksplit
"The biographies of the Buddha reveal that in one of his early incarnations, he met a murderer of 1000's of men. Acting correctly and with compassion for all sentient beings, the Buddha's incarnation killed the murderer to prevent additional suffering. That is true compassion!"
Zen is an end in itself. Your only goal must be mushotoku, the goal of having no goals, of striving not to strive. "How is it possible to strive to not have goals?" you might ask. "Isn't that itself a goal?" Don't be a smart aleck. You should be as
goal-less and lacking in purpose as your cousin, the successful one.
"I need some baling wire, nachos, 12 gauge shotgun shells, pantyhose, an inner tube for a 26" bike tyre, and a Sponge Bob Square Pants bath towel. It's poker night." -- from eplaya.burningman.com
"If I didn't have my films as an outlet for all the different sides of me, I would probably be locked up." -- Angelina Jolie
"Honestly, I like everything. Boyish girls, girlish boys, the thick, the thin. Which is a problem when I'm walking down the street." -- Angelina Jolie
"Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy." -- Howard W. Newton
I've followed you, talked to your neighbours, tapped your phone, and even shot at you to see how you would react. From my observations I have come to one irrefutable conclusion: You are Paranoid.
Never slap a bear in the face with a trout!
"There's my nipple."
"We orginally wanted to show both your nipples, but we want to show that we had a bit of class." -- Milla Jovovich and Paul Anderson, "Resident Evil" DVD Audio Commentary
"A girl can only be a slut, bitch, tease, or the virgin next door." -- Ginger, "Ginger Snaps"
Millihelen: amount of beauty required to launch one ship.
"Sluts are the nicest people in the world. They’re people pleasers!" -- Jessica Cutler
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." Oscar Wilde
"Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously." -- Gilbert K. Chesterton
"There are three schools of magic. One: State a tautology, then ring the changes on its corollaries; That's Philosophy. Two: Record many facts. Try to see a pattern. Then make a wrong guess at the next fact; That's Science. Three: Awareness that you live in a malevolent universe controlled by Murphy's Law, sometimes offset in party Brewster's factor; That's Engineering."
"My brand of comfort isn't so much 'there-there' as it is 'there's a boot, pardon me while I connect it with your ass'" -- Davan from Something Positive
Willpower that's what I need. But the stores seem to be clear out of it so I've picked up some packets of procrastination going cheap instead.
"If you don't like cops, fine. The next time you're in trouble, call a hippie."
If you view money as inherently evil, I view it as my duty to assist in making you more virtuous.
"I used to have a handle on life, then it broke."
"Poor Mark David Chapman; three feet to the right and he could have been a hero." -- Tamara K.
"The strength of the wolf is the pack, and srength of the pack is the wolf." -- Kipling
"I can't imagine mastering the skills involved here without a clearer understanding of who's going to be impressed." -- Calvin and Hobbes
"When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence." -- Ansel Adams
"The vegan lifestyle is unnatural, requiring a modern , expensive distribution system to even be viable." -- RWS
"Basil is that most dangerous of animals - a clever sheep." -- Monty Python
"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." -- Thomas Paine
No wuckin’ furries, mate!
Meet me in outer space. we could spend the night, watch the Earth come up.
Life is like a chili pepper... what may be fun today will probably burn your ass tomorrow.
"The trouble with marrying your mistress is that you create a job vacancy." -- Sir James Goldsmith
"Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status." -- Laurence J. Peter
"Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away." -- Laurence J. Peter
Quotes collected from the net by Eclipse Main Sig Quote Page