Books, movies, politics, and whatever I want

Friday B-Movie Pick: The Legend of Tarzan

Friday, January 6th, 2017

The Legend of Tarzan
I was expecting yet another Tarzan origin story, so I was pleasantly surprised by this film. Chronologically, it takes place after the first two books. Tarzan is living in London, he has his title, lands, and is married to the love of his life, Jane Porter. Meanwhile, bad things are happening in the Belgian Congo (which is historically accurate), and Tarzan goes to investigate. Jane is not being left behind, so adventure follows. Really good cast on this. Margo Robbie as Jane, Samuel L. Jackson as an actual historical figure (who kicked ass, and took names), and Christoph Waltz being excellent as the bad guy.

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Friday B-Movie Pick: Best of the ‘B’ Movies

Friday, December 30th, 2016

Best of the ‘B’s.

It’s the Last Friday of the Year, so I’m going to to back and pick a film from each year that aspires to be a B Movie.

2008 Gotta go with Oblivion, winner of the 1994 Best Fantasy/Horror film at the Houston International Film Festival.
2009 Bubba Ho-Tep, Bruce Campbell seals the deal for this pick.
2010 Tough choice, but I’m going with Confessions Of An Action Star
2011 Black Belt Jones staring the late, great Jim Kelly
2012 Digital Assassin. This low budget, poorly written Turkey dreams of being a “B” movie.
2013 National Lampoon’s The Legend of Awesomest Maximus. Another tough choice.
2014 Sands of Oblivion
2015 The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

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Friday B-Movie Pick: The Muppet Christmas Carol

Friday, December 23rd, 2016

The Muppets: A Christmas Carol
It’s Christmas, so let’s go with a humorous take on a classic. Kermit plays Bob Cratchet and, of course, Miss Piggy plays Emily Cratchet. Complete with two Pig girls and two Frog boys as children. Gonzo the Great plays the narrator, Charles Dickens. He actually plays it straight for the most part. What really makes this movie though is an excellent performance by Michael Caine as Scrooge. Rizzo the Rat as Dicken’s sidekick is pure value add, from a Muppet perspective.

Friday B-Movie Pick

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Friday B-Movie Pick: The Nice Guys

Friday, November 4th, 2016

The Nice Guys
Los Angles. The 1970’s. Cars, the porn industry, “Big Oil”, government corruption, and two working stiffs trying to make a living. One beats people up for a living, the other is a cheap detective trying to earn a living for him and his 13 year old daughter. The daughter ends up driving him around a lot, which is safer than letting her drunk dad drive. You are going to have some L.A. Confidential flashbacks here. Mainly because of Russell Crowe (he beats people up in both movies, mostly people who deserve a good beating), and Kim Basinger. In all, a fun movie with humor mixed with violence. Worth the rental and the popcorn.

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Friday B-Movie Pick: Halloween Edition

Friday, October 28th, 2016

Ghostbusters
It’s almost Halloween again, so we’re going with some of the classics. This 1984 classic remade and flopped big time.
Personally, didn’t think they could capture the spirit of the film, pun intended. They completely missed the Libertarian theme to the movie, which the director admits was intentional.

Bonus films:
Innocent Blood
The Mummy
Young Frankenstein

An American Werewolf in London

Innocent Blood

Let’s not forget Near Dark and Dog Soldiers, picks from October 2011, for a double header of vampires and werewolves.

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Friday B-Movie Pick: The Last Legion

Friday, August 26th, 2016

The Last Legion
Yet another historical fantasy on the Arthurian legend. When I say fantasy, there is a wizard, but he is limited to slight of hand. It’s more alternate history. Start with a historical fact. The Goths invaded Rome, and the last Caesar, a teenager named Romulus, ended up in exile for the rest of his life on an island. In this movie, Romulus (Thomas Sangster, the kid from Love Actually), is rescued by a Roman general (Colin Firth), and advised by is tutor, the before mentioned wizard (Ben Kingsley).  They travel to Britain, fight a major battle, defeat the bad guys, and set the stage for King Arthur to show up later. Throw in Aishwarya Rai Bachchan as an Indian warrior in the service of the Eastern Roman Empire (work with me on this), and Kevin McKidd as one nasty Goth, and you have a B-Movie worthy of the rental and popcorn. Movie nerd note, Colin Firth is in Love Actually as well. He doesn’t share any screen time with Thomas Sangster. Sangster does share a lot of screen time with Kevin McKidd in the HBO series Rome. If you are interested, the movie was based on the book by Valerio Massimo Manfredi.

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Friday B-Movie Pick: Hail Caesar

Friday, August 12th, 2016

Hail Caesar
The Cohen Brothers managed to produce a particularly subversive movie. A very well made movie, but subversive. Frankly, I’m surprised this movie made it out of Hollywood. It’s a story about movie industry in the early 1950s. It was the era of big studios. When the stars worked for the studios and did what they were told, and the studio took care of them. The protagonist is the studio boss, who runs the Hollywood end for the owner in New York. He is dedicated to his job, loves his family, is devoted to his wife, takes care of his stars, and is a devout Roman Catholic. Like I said, this movie is subversive to the Hollywood culture. To fight the current Hollywood culture even more, the bad guys are actual communists. To be fair, they aren’t very competent, mostly whiny writers who are pissed that they are not running the studios and making the big money. I really enjoyed this movie, it was very rich in detail, and provided good insight into the time. The studio didn’t care if you were homosexual, or Hispanic, or had poor taste in husbands (“He was a minor crime figure.” “He was not minor!”). You were part of the studio family and the studio took care of you. Loyalty was expected in return, but that was part of the studio culture of the time. Fire up the popcorn, lean back, and enjoy this well crafted bit of film work. Excellent work by a excellent cast that includes Scarlet Johansson, Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum (singing and dancing), Alden Ehrenreich, and Veronica Osorio.

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Friday B-Movie Pick: 1776 & An American Carol

Friday, July 1st, 2016

1776 and An American Carol
Once again, I’m going with an Independence Day double header. Starting with the 1972 film version of the Broadway musical 1776. It tells the tale of getting the resolution on Independence passed through the Continental Congress in the summer of 1776. William Daniels is quite good as John Adams, but it is Howard Da Silva as Benjamin Franklin who steals the show. The second film was the 4th of July weekend pick for 2009. It is the story of Crocumentary filmmaker Michael Malone (name slightly changed so you will be sure which fat communist bastard it is supposed to be), who wants to ban the “4th of July” and is visited by the Ghost of John F. Kennedy, who tells that he will be visited by three spirits in order to cure him of his un-American ways. Very funny, with a great cast of actors who put their careers at risk by outing themselves as Conservatives in the far left extremist moonbat haven of Hollywood.

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Friday B-Movie Pick: Mr. Right

Saturday, June 25th, 2016

Mr. Right
A delightful romantic comedy with plenty of violence mixed in for flavor. Anna Kendrick plays a quirky young woman who picked the T-Rex as her spirit animal at a young age. She meets “Mr. Right”, played by Sam Rockwell, and they quickly fall for each other. Rockwell’s character is a former CIA assassin who has gone bizarrely free lance. He also wears a clown nose when killing people. Yes, he is slightly crazy, as is Kendrick’s character. Throw in Tim Roth as the crazy hitman’s former partner trying to track him down, and RZA as some local New Orleans muscle with great potential, and you have a fun little B-Movie.

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Friday B-Movie Pick: Killing Time

Friday, April 1st, 2016

Killing Time
Taking the Way Back Machine to 1998 for this classic B-Movie. It is that story of an Italian assassin hired by an English police officer to kill the gangster who killed his partner. The problem is that the assassin, Maria, is very expensive. So the cop hires an assassin he can afford to kill Maria after she completes her assignment. Of course, there is a reason why she was much more expensive. Things get interesting, because everything is set on a timetable, and Maria arrives early. So she has time to kill before it’s time to kill. Hence the name of this fine example of Drive In movie making. The downside to this excellent flick is that it was only released on VHS. I saw it back when you would go to your local video rental store to get movies to watch at home. Joe Bob would say check it out, if you can find it.

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