"Gun Control: The theory that the solution to the problem of firearms usage by violent criminals is to attack, imprison, and kill innocent people who own firearms." -- Leslie Bates' New Devil's Dictionary
"That which does not kill us, is not named Ditzie." -- Leslie Bates (Yes, *That* one.)
"If anything, the Nazi-Soviet War of 1941-1945 could be characterized as a drive-by shooting carried out on an industrial scale." -- Leslie Bates
"There's nothing like a dead body found in a pool of someone else's blood." -- Leslie Bates
Righteous: The pretense of being right when in fact one is absolutely and totally wrong. To strike a pose of being right as opposed to simply being right. Example: "Whenever Leslie Bates describes someone, such as Alec Baldwin or Michael Moore, as a righteous dude, he is not using the word as a compliment." -- The New Devil's Dictionary
"Is Hillary Stalinova Clinton really a lesbian? Or was that wishful thinking on our part?" -- Leslie Bates
"She probably wasn't one before marrying Bill. Can you blame her for switching teams after that chucklehead?" -- Xardos
"Wearing a Che shirt in a free nation is as disgusting as wearing a Heinrich Himmler shirt in Tel Aviv." -- Leslie Bates
"The one of the functions of language is to serve as the operating system of human thought. But the function of Newspeak is to prevent correct identification of the facts of reality. Thus bloodsoaked tyrants such as Fidel Castro are called liberators and liberators such as President Bush are called oppressors." -- Leslie Bates
"Liberals, and the left in general, are parasites on human society. Without the power to compel others to materially support them the members of the left would be compelled either to become rational and productive beings or literally die off". -- Leslie Bates
"Let's see, in leftspeak progress consists of the total subjugation of the rational and productive population for the benefit of the self-appointed elite class of parasites.
When we open up our political institutions to talented individuals regardless of race or gender, that is in the vernacular of the Left, regressive or reactionary." -- Leslie Bates
"Progressive: Someone who won't admit to being a communist, usually for fear of being properly treated as one." -- Leslie Bates, New Devil's Dictionary
"Anyone who believes that tyrannicide is murder may not be part of the problem of tyranny, but that is certainly the way to bet." -- Leslie Bates
"Only a bunch of despot-huggers would believe that the common people are better off living in fear of being fed feet-first into a plastic shredder and having their daughters and wives raped by the son of the dictator. The leaders of the Democratic Party (or more accurately, the Despotic Party) whine about how conservatives lack compassion but are invariably unconcerned about the victims of Socialist despots like Saddam, Stalin, Mao, Fidel, Pol Pot, and the North Korean father-son team the Kims." -- Leslie Bates
"We're ten parsecs from Regina, we've got a full tank of LH-two, a half pack of cigarettes, I've dimmed the lights, and we're wearing sunglasses."
"Let's jump." --Leslie Bates
"The worst enemy of the British Armed Forces is the British politician." -- Leslie Bates
"…if the stupid conspiracy theories of the Left were true they would all be dead." -- Leslie Bates
"One cannot achieve balance if one's nose is stuck in the sacred Marxist instruction manual" -- Leslie Bates
"(I could go on about what I really think of peace activists but I'll keep it short by paraphrasing Keith Richards: I don't have a problem with shooting peace activists, I only have a problem with the police.)" -- Leslie Bates
"The Right believes in creating wealth, the Left believes in grabbing it." -- Leslie Bates
"But then the idea that one should be able to live one's own life in accordance to one's own judgement is such an alien idea to a liberal that is may as well come from the planet Mars." -- Leslie Bates