"I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal." -- Groucho Marx
LGBT: Liquor, Guns, Bacon, and Tits!
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." -- Dr. Suess
"If it flies, floats, or fucks, rent it."
"Never make the first offer in a negotiation."
"Perfection is the enemy of profit."
"The burqa is a forced sex slave uniform."
"Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let's try to leave better kids for our planet." -- Adam Carolla
"The paper has a right to determine what is proper for our readers." -- Mike Thayer, inside sales supervisor, Cleveland Plain Dealer
"...apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?" -- Life of Brian
"Individual Muslims may show splendid qualities, but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world..." -- Winston Churchill, The River War (1899)
"Life is so constructed, that the event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation." -- Charlotte Bronte
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."
"Whatever it is you want in life, go sit at the feet of masters... just don't stay too long."
"Find out who you are and do it on purpose." -- Dolly Parton
"Success is not final. Failure is not fatal." -- Winston Churchill
"Columbus was an immigrant who brought much needed diversity."
"Why is nine so unpopular? Because it's odd and a real square."
"Both Chrissie Hynde and Rachel Sweet are from Akron, Ohio"
"If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening my axe." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"Never push loyal people to the point where they don't give a damn." -- Peter Drucker, 1909-2005
"There is an amazing amount of freedom in not giving a fuck."
"I don't play monsters, I play men besieged by fate and out for revenge." -- Vincent Price
"A mind like a wonderfully intricate piece of machinery with all the screws just a little lose."
"A man should always have access to emergency pants." -- Owen Z. Pitt
"No generalization is true, not even this one."
Quotes collected from the net by Eclipse Main Sig Quote Page