Science Fiction Signature Quotes

"Reality is the part that refuses to go away when I stop believing in it." -- Phillip K. Dick
"...when all else fails, duck. It's not practical, but it can be momentarily comforting." -- UNIT Procedures Manual, Zen Division.
"Entropy, the second law of thermodynamics. The more you keep putting things together, the more they keep falling apart, and I never heard a truer word said." -- Doctor Who
"Never be certain of anything. It's a sign of weakness." -- Doctor Who
"We pushed on, and there was blood on every step as far back as I could see. There's a moral there, somewhere." -- Corwin, `Nine Princes In Amber'
"Never trust a relative. It is far worse than trusting strangers. With a stranger there is actually a remote chance you may be safe." -- Corwin, 'The Guns of Avalon'
"Watch it. I'm armed, and not that generous." -- Kei of the Lovely Angels
"Gail? Rinaldo's girlfriend? My Son was dating a demon?"
"Let's not be prejudiced. He'd done a lot worse his freshman year."
"You've got a point there," she admitted. "I'd forgotten Carol."
-- Roger Zelazny, Knight of Shadows
"You do remember." Soulcatcher laughed again. "I'm so glad. We're going to have such fun. The whole world thinks we're dead. You can get away with anything when you're dead." -- Dreams of Steel by Glen Cook
Klaatu Barrada Niktoe
"There's a lot to be said for an experience that's primitive." Commander William Riker (ST:TNG)
"No matter where you go, there you are." -- Buckaroo Banzai
"Professional Assasination: It is the highest form of public service." -Chiun
"You won't learn much about capitalism at a university. How could you? Capitalism is a matter of risks and rewards, and a tenured professor doesn't have much to do with either." -- Jerry Pournelle
"Always store beer in a dark place." -- Lazarus Long
"Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proven innocent." -- Lazarus Long
Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it." -- Lazarus Long
"It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another -- but which one? Differences are crucial." -- Lazarus Long
"A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits." -- Lazarus Long
"Small change can often be found under seat cushions." -- Lazarus Long
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired. -- Lazarus Long
"Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny." -- Lazarus Long
"It's better to copulate than never." -- Lazarus Long
Never appeal to man's "better nature". He may not have one. (Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.) -- Lazarus Long
An elephant: a mouse built to government specifications. -- Lazarus Long
A Zygote is a Gamete's way of producing more Gametes. -- Lazarus Long
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent -- it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills." -- Lazarus Long
"Waking a person unnecessarily should not be considered a capital crime. For a first offense, that is." -- Lazarus Long
"Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil." -- Lazarus Long
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity." -- Lazarus Long
"Rub her feet." -- Lazarus Long
"To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods." -- Lazarus Long
"Does history record any case in which the majority was right?" -- Lazarus Long
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors -- and miss." -- Lazarus Long
"Never try to outstubborn a cat." -- Lazarus Long
"Natural laws have no pity." -- Lazarus Long
You can go wrong by being too skeptical as readily as by being too trusting. -- Lazarus Long
Anything free is worth what you pay for it. -- Lazarus Long
"Pessimist by policy, optimist by temperament -- it is possible to be both. How? By never taking unnecessary chances and by minimizing risks you can't avoid. This permits you to play the game happily, untroubled by the certainty of the outcome." -- Lazarus Long
"I came, I saw, SHE conquered." (The original Latin seems to have been garbled.) -- Lazarus Long
The greatest productive force is human selfishness. -- Lazarus Long
A skunk is better company than a person who prides himself on being "frank". -- Lazarus Long
The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it's none of my business, but..." is to place a period after the word "but". Don't use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about. -- Lazarus Long
"Don't try to have the last word. You might get it." -- Lazarus Long
You are a true believer. Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Thou art a subject of the divine, created in the image of man by the masses, for the masses. Let us be thankful we have an occupation to fill. Work hard...increase production...prevent accidents...and be happy. (THX-1138)
"The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship." -- Robert Heinlein
"Misli, gammi gra'dil, Strygalldwir" -- Corwin of Amber
"The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." -- H. P. Lovecraft
"If blood be the price of admiralty, then I've just bought me a naval commission." -- Corwin of Amber
"Personally, I dig Kirk's no-bullshit, nondiplomatic attitude. If it is something he can't sleep with, or at least kiss in a painful looking way, he locks phasers or throws a right hook or some hyper-testosterone response." -- netrekkie
"We... have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!" -- B. Baggins
"My parents taught me a diferent lesson...lying on this street shaking in deep shock...dying for no reason at all.. they showed me that the world only makes sense when you force it to. We could have changed the world, now look at us.. I've become a political liability... and you, you're a joke. I want you to remember, Clark in all the years to come, in your most private moments...I want you to remember my hand at your throat, I want you to remember the one man who beat you." -- The Dark Knight
To the song, "In the Jungle"

In R'Lyeh, the sunken city, Cthulhu sleeps to-night.
From R'Lyeh, the sunken city, Cthulhu will rise tonight.

Hup! Hup! Hup!

A weema whep A weema whep A weema whep A weema whep A weema whep A weema whep
A weema whep A weema whep A weema whem A weema whep A weema whep A weema whep

Start screeming child, scream my child. Cthulhu rises to-night!
Screem my child, start screeming child. Cthulhu rises to-night!


"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." -- Tolkien
"Count Erskyll said nothing for a moment. He was opposed to the use of force. Force, he believed, was the last resort of incompetence; he had said so often enough since this operation had begun. Of course, he was absolutely right, though not in the way he meant. Only the incompetent wait until the last extremity to use force, and by then, it is usually too late to use anything, even prayer." -- A Slave Is A Slave by H. Beam Piper
"Only the incompetent wait until the last extremity to use force, and by then, it is usually too late to use anything, even prayer." -- H. Beam Piper
"Freedom? It is a Yang worship word. You will not speak it." -- Cloud William (ST/TOS--Omega Glory)
"It's Science Fiction, if, presuming technical competence on the part of the writer, he genuinely believes it could happen." --- John W. Campell, Jr.
" There's an old android saying which I feel is particularly relevant to this situation. It goes: '00101010110100101101001111001010101001011011000101010' which, roughly translated, means 'Don't stand around jabbering when your life is in dang...hey, wait for me, you guys!" -- Kryten, Red Dwarf Series V, episode 3 "Terrorform".
Londo: Do you know what the last Xon said, as he died?
Garibaldi: No, what?
"To be "matter of fact" about the world is to blunder into fantasy - and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful." -- Robert A. Heinlein.
Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure.
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever.
--Rocky Horror Picture Show
"Back off, man! I'm a scientist!" -Peter Venkman, PhD
"Tension, apprehension and dissension have begun." -- Alfred Bester
"Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity isn't a sin, the victim can't help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity." - Robert A. Heinlein
"I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness. I love that which they defend, the city of the Men of Numenor." -- Faramir, The Two Towers
"I am endeavoring, ma'am, to construct a mnemonic memory circuit, using stone knives and bearskins." -- Spock
"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him." -- J. R. R. Tolkein
"Well, I mean, YES idealism, YES the dignity of pure research, YES the pursuit of truth in all its forms, but there comes a point I'm afraid where you begin to suspect that if there's any REAL truth, it's that the entire multi-dimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. And if it comes to a choice between spending yet another 10 million years finding that out, and on the other hand just taking the money and running, then I for one could do with the exercise." -- One of the white mice in the Hitchhikers' Guide
"What the hell does that mean? Huh? 'China is here.'?
I don't even know what the hell that means!"
-- Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China
   "Beyond the River of the Blessed,
        there we sat down, yea, we wept,
        when we remembered Avalon.
     Our swords were shattered in our hands
        and we hung our shields on the oak tree.
     The silver towers were fallen,
        into a sea of blood.
     How many miles to Avalon?
     None, I say, and all.
        The silver towers are fallen."
     -Roger Zelazny, The Chronicles of Amber

"I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate." - Commander Susan Ivanova, "Points of Departure", Babylon 5
"My brain will be five days dead before I ever trust a Centauri." -- Security Chief Garibaldi, "Midnight on the Firing Line", Babylon 5
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...' - Isaac Asimov
I will cheerfully admit that I liked "Under the Yoke", even read it twice! Parts of it made me hot; the Draka are SOOO bad, they make other fictitious bad guys look like politically correct college girls! -- Bella Kinney (
"Guinan is Yoda on stilts. Yoda is Kermit on drugs."
"This ranks very high on the weird meter." - Quinn Mallory, Sliders
Stephen? It's been 15 hours. We are gonna grow old and die in here.
Stephen? Stephen, there's a Martian war machine parked outside.
They'd like to have a word with you about the common cold."
-- Vance Hendricks to Dr. Franklin in Babylon 5:"Infection"
"Zathras have sad life; probably have sad death. But, at least is symmetry..." - Babylon 5
"If they think you're crude, go technical;
if they think you're technical, go crude.
I'm a very technical boy.
So I decided to get as crude as possible."
-- William Gibson, "Johnny Mnemonic", 1981
"...and the sky was full of stars...each star an exploding of ours..." -- Commander Jeffrey Sinclair BABYLON 5
"The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote." -- Ambassador Kosh BABYLON FIVE
"I have been nothing but compassionate and understanding. I mean, all you had to do was to admit you were wrong and I was right and everything would've been fine." - Ivanova to Winters in Babylon5: Divided Loyalties
"Who am I? I am Susan Ivanova, Commander. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the Right Hand of Vengence and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I am Death Incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me." from "Between Darkness & Light" -Babylon 5
"That's very important to you, all that theatrical stuff."

"It's everything Evey. The perfect entrance, the grand illusion. Its everything...and Im going to bring the house down. They have forgotten the drama of it see, they abandoned the scripts when the world withered in the glare of the nuclear footlights. Im going to remind them about melodrama. About the tuppenny rush and the penny dreadfull...You see, Evey, all the world is a stage, and everything vaudeville."
Evey and V, V for Vendetta by Allen Moore and David Lloyd.

"Democracy can survive anything except Democrats" -- Robert A. Heinlein, The Cat Who Walked Through Walls
"Han reacted naturally, that is to say, without thinking..." -- Star Wars, the original novel.
Harlan Ellison: 50 years of SHORT fiction.
And the quantium ducks sayth unto you
Quark, Quark Quark
"How does it work, Professor?"
"You're too dumb. You wouldn't understand"
-- Harry Harrison's Technicolour Time Machine
"I am ready man, check it out, I am the ULTIMATE bad ass. State-of-the-bad-ass-art.  You do not want to f*** with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate bad-asses will protect you. Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx...FWAP! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic, electronic, BALL breakers!  We got nukes, we got knives, sharpsticks..." -- Corporal Hudson, Aliens (1986)
Now here's what I'd like to see:  a battle between the red-shirted lackeys from ST:TOS and the Stormtroopers from Star Wars.
By law the red shirts must die, but, by law the Stormtroopers can't hit the broadside of a barn...  It would be a long, boring, drawn out battle ending in a stalemate.
-- Chris Seamans
"It made him sound like Anne Rice's Lestat character, who seems sexy and exotic in print, but in real life would come across as an especially swishy and self-impressed drama queen." -- Buffalo Girls
Tigger of Borg: ASSIMMILATING! That's what Tiggers do best!
"The Borg assimilated my race and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"
"Help Wanted: Telepath, You know where to apply!"  -- unknown, bumper sticker.
Lancelot: "Are you certain you are not the Devil?"
Corwin of Amber: "Yeah, sure. Don't you smell the brimstone? And my right hoof is killing me."
"History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark." -- Lord John Whorfin
There is no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. -- Doctor Who
"You know I like her. Scares the hell out of me sometimes, but I do like her. Just, uh, don't tell her that." -- Dr. Franklin talking about Commander Ivanova, Babylon 5
Any sufficiently reliable magic is indistinguishable from technology -- Merlin
"Blessed are the poor in spirit? Well, then, blessed are the Trekkies, too. Theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven." -- The Dreams our Stuff is Made Of by Thomas M. Disch
Member in Good Standing of The Society to Turn Wesley Crusher Into a Small Styrofoam Dodecahedron
McCoy: Medical men are trained in logic!
Spock: Trained? Judging from you, I would have guessed it was trial and error.
"Fear is that little death that brings  total obliteration..." -- Bene Gesserit 'Litany Against Fear'
"I'm not a speed reader.  I'm a speed understander." -- Isaac Asimov
Van Helsing: "I love that smell ... spontaneous combustion at daybreak. It smells like ... salvation." -- Coppola's Dracula by Kim Newman.
"BABYLON 5! A five-mile long cement mixer of truth, pouring out the Concrete of Nice-Nice in a long, grey ribbon into the future, to form a SIDE WALK OF JUSTICE!!" - The Tick describing Babylon 5
"Robert A. Heinlein Memorial Service 7:00 P.M. Barbecue 7:30 P.M. (No salt necessary)"
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity." -- Robert Heinlein
"Most people can't think, most of the remainder won't think, the small fraction who do think mostly can't do it very well. The extremely tiny fraction who think regularly, accurately, creatively, and without self-delusion- in the long run, these are the only people who count." -- Robert Heinlein
"Brainpower is the scarcest commodity and the only one of real value." -- Robert Heinlein
"Immortality consists largely of boredom." -- Zefrem Cochrane, "Metamorphosis", stardate 3219.8
Van Helsing: "Nosferatu don't scull." -- Coppola's Dracula by Kim Newman.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof, is to under-estimate the ingenuity of complete fools." -- Mostly Harmless, by Douglas Adams
No poor, dumb Bug-Eyed-Monster ever won an intergallactic war by dying for it's species. You win the Intergalactic war by making the other poor, dumb Bug-Eyed-Monster die for it's species.
"People want anarchy for about five minutes. Then they want a backrub and some money." -- Bruce Sterling
"Everything in excess! To enjoy the flower of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks." -- Robert Heinlein
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die." -- Replicant Roy Batty, Bladerunner
Having the moral high ground is good.
Having the moral high ground and a meson gun is better.
"Black magic is a matter of symbolism and intent." -- Master Sorceror Sean O'Lochlainn
"And I repeat: if there is anything that can divert the land of my birth from its current stampede into the Stone Age, it is the widespread dissemination of the thoughts and perceptions that Robert Heinlein has been selling as entertainment since 1939." -- Spider Robinson
"The wage of sin is death, but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Friday." -- Nanny Ogg, Witches Abroad (Terry Pratchett)
"Those who cling to the untrue doctrine that 'violence never settles anything' would be advised to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Nations and peoples who forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms." -- Robert A. Heinlein
"Most women complain that there are no single, straight men left. I'd just like to meet one that's human." - Anita Blake - Circus of the Damned
" life is a cross between preternatural soap opera and an action-adventure movie. Sort of As the casket turns meets Rambo." - Anita Blake - The Killing Dance
"It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but there's the weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is complete and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime." -- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
"For every mad scientist cackling maniacally over his recently animated creation, there are three more waiting for UPS to deliver crucial body parts from Kuala Lumpur while Igor plays Nethack on the Frankenstein Castle workstation." -- Chad Orzel (Salon, Mar 1 2000, letters)
"We've lost the Warp Core? So how do I power my cappuccino maker now?"
"I don't know if you know anything about UFOs, but all the characteristics of a typical sighting are shared with nocturnal insects swarming through an electrical air field: the sudden appearance of a colored, glowing light hovering in the night sky, moving in anonmechanical matter, possibly humming, creating interference with radio and television signals, then suddenly disappearing." -- Bambi Berenbaum, in The X-Files, "War of the Coprophages"
"Just a faint trace of gaseous emissions from the new arrival. Category: Unpleasant, Sub-Category: Rodentine." -- MJ Dougherty
"Soylent Green! Made from the best stuff on Earth--people! Now in new minty flavor!" -- Phil Hartman, "Newsradio"
"We are Borg. Resistance is futile. Ask about our free catalog." -- Fred Ramen
"Homines est! Dici omnes! Soylens viridis HOMINES EST!"
I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
It is by herring alone I set my penguin in motion.
It is by the oil of skate that flippers acquire speed,
the beak acquires fish.
The fish become a dinner.
It is by herring alone I set my penguin in motion.
-- Douglas "Penguin Boy" Berry
"Avon's idea of diplomacy is to break someone's leg and offer them a crutch afterwards." -- Blake's 7
"I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all, I think, that any conscious entity can ever hope to do." -- HAL 9000, in 2001: A Space Odyssey
"Klingon's do NOT wear frilly underwear! At least, not on duty."
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye and see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
-- Frank Herbert, Dune
"I'm prophetic, not infallible." - The Late Mr. Morden, Babylon 5
"IMHO, if we resurrected Ed Wood, and gave him the same budget to do Plan 9 From Outer Space as Verhoeven had to do Starship Troopers, I think we'd have a contender on our hands. The eye candy would likely be just as good, and the story about on a par." -- Kenji Schwarz on the Traveller Mailing List.
"He couldn't seem to stop with the double entendres. They rose to his lips like drool from the id." -- Deep Eddy, Bruce Sterling
Ask a Soviet engineer to design a pair of shoes and he'll come up with something that looks like the boxes that the shoes came in; ask him to make something that will massacre Germans, and he turns into Thomas Fucking Edison.  -- Cryptonomicom by Neal Stephenson
"Plasma weapons may lack precision, but their dandy combo of kinetic and thermal energy is perfect for really effing up both human and mecha targets. Plus, the sheer, messy spectacle of a major plasma discharge really puts the fear of God into the bad guys... Or the fear of ME, anyway." -- Dirty Pair: Fatal, But Not Serious
Luke: "What do you think is going on, anyway?"
Frakir: "Some horrible Wagnerian thing, full of blood, thunder, and death for us all."
Luke: "Oh, the usual." "Exactly." -- Coming To A Cord by Roger Zelazny
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." -- Douglas Adams
"The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest." -- Kilgore Trout
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams
"We brought Poul home from Alta Bates for terminal hospice care.
We gave him Jubilaeum Akvavit, Carlsberg Beer and Boeuf Tartare.
We gave him all our love. About midght, he slipped away."
signed Karen, Astrid and the rest of the Andersons.

Poul Anderson - November 25, 1926:August 1, 2001

"If 'everybody knows' such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one." -- Robert Heinlein
"No intelligent man has any respect for an unjust law." -- Robert Heinlein
"Data was available. I took him. He came." -- Lt. Cmdr. Elizabeth Shelby Star Trek: The Next Generation, 'Best of Both Worlds Part 1'.
Sulu to Uhura: "Fair maiden!"
Uhura: "Sorry, neither!"
ST:TOS, The Naked Time
"No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain." -- G'kar
"The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read." -- Pratchett
"See? The Philippines is innately hedged," Avi said. "You know how rare that is? When you find an innately hedged environment, Randy, you lunge into it like a rabid ferret going into a pipe full of raw meat." -- Cryptonomicom by Neal Stephenson
"Filipinos are a warm, gentle, caring, giving people, which is a good thing since so many of them carry concealed weapons." -- Cryptonomicom by Neal Stephenson
Since we discuss the universe, there is very little that can be off-topic. -- rec.arts.sf.fandom
"Wagging this appendage is the only creative outlet I have" -- Salem the Cat
"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. Its wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid." -Q, Stardate 42761.3
Earth First! (We'll strip-mine the other planets later.)
"No, no, my lord. The lying heratic speaks the truth." -- Doctor Who and the Holy Terror
"...the European class system had never really caught on in North Americ despite the best efforts of its own leftist politicians." -- "The Apocalypse Troll", David Weber
"Do you think my being stronger and faster has anything to do with my muscles in this place?...Do you think that's air that you are breathing?" -- The Matrix
"Tribbles are the only love money can buy." Uhuru
"Da - the rest you rent by the hour..." Chekov
"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order" -- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"
"The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick, rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my career." -- Winning sentence, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
"No, no, I don't mind being called the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one." -- Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias, WATCHMEN
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