Signature Quotes: Role Playing & other Games, page 2

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"[Traveller is] intended to be Freewheeling Adventure in the Far Future, not Accurate Adventures in Accounting." -- MJ Dougherty
"HEAVEN is where all the police are Vilani, the mechanics Solomani, the the lovers Zhodani, and the cooks Vargr, and it's all run by the Bwaps.
HELL is where all the police are Sollies, the mechanics Dogs, the lovers Newts, and the cooks Shugilii, and it's all run by the Zhos." -- David "Hyphen" Jaques-Watson
"I played some ShadowRun. It was a bit ridiculously deadly, and I really don't need elves in my SF, thanks all the same." -- Mathew
Now I lay me down to bed. Darkness won't surround my head, I can see by infrared. How I hate the night.
"Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth" Rule #16, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock." Rule #8, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." -- Rule #12, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit, let alone discuss with prospective clients. Still, the fact remains that there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another, completely immune to any direct magical spell. It is for this group of beings that the magician learns the subtleties of using indirect spells. It also does no harm, in dealing with these matters, to carry a large club near your person at all times." -- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VIII
"Cannibalism is a term of oppression; the properly respectful term is 'human recycling.'"
"Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier..."
Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
for you are crispy and good with catsup.
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
( Tr: "I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head." )
Drawing on my extensive covert operations training I curled up into a foetal position and whimpered.
"3050 Tech is for Momma's Boys and NAIS Grads" -- Captain Grex Steele, Commanding Officer of Steele's Spartans.
"So what's Athena up to these days?"
"Goddess of defense, industry, and science? She's running Lockheed." -- John Nowak
"The saying, "we tie Kwon up in 30 meters of rope" became commonplace in our play for over a decade. Not that I didn't earn the treatment by being more psychotic and inventive than the average player..." -- John T. Kwon on his history as a Traveller Player.
"Yeah. Been there, done that, shaved that Vargr." -- Ingo Siekmann
"With regards to this issue, the 'Yanks in Space' squawk is actually a complement. The patchwork nature of the Third Imperium is merely an amplification of the patchwork nature of the US, something an overly bureaucratized European inhabitant of a unitary state may have trouble understanding." -- Larsen Whipsnade
"That which does not kill us, is not named Ditzie." -- Leslie Bates (Yes, *That* one.)
"Traveller adventures pretty much captured the essence of Shadowrun years before the latter RPG, or even the genre that spawned it, existed. The main difference is that a Traveller patron isn't guaranteed to try to screw the PCs upon completion of the job." -- Kelly St.Clair
"Don't be afraid to take advantage of your enemy's weaknesses. Becasuse winning is everything after all." -- MegaTokyo
"I've found that in field interrogations that one can obtain more information with a kind word and a Yoko Ono recording than with a kind word alone" -- Lt. Commander Dennis Sterling, Baron Windhaven, IN, Retired.
"I will not teach NPCs." -- Great Teacher Largo, MegaToyko
"Ditzie really, really, really likes things that go bang, boom, or BRRZAP! This can be a real problem at times."
"When *I* transport aquatic sophants in cold sleep, I use Mrs. Paul's brand low berths. That way, even in the event of a fatal malfunction, there's a HAPPY ENDING!" - Capt. Hyrogi "Jeffrey" Dahmer former master of the ISR "Donner Party" (Mark Cook on the TML)
Neutral Evil - Evil, but not doing anything in particular about it
[This brings to mind] the Devil in a ratty tie-die T-shirt, sprawled snoring in a broken Barcolounger, empty bong in hand... -- Richard Aiken
Wheeling in silence
White stars against the blackness
Flash of meteor!
-- John Kwon
Cargo bay half full
Mortgage payment almost due
Maybe piracy?
-- John Kwon
Streaks of blue-white light
Why did I sign that contract?
Plasma bolt toasties!
-- John Kwon
Mercenary job
Pointless struggle for nothing
-- John Kwon
Zhodani women
Just know what I'm looking for
A smile tells enough
-- Glenn M. Goffin
That old black Droyne sport
Has bought a new grav flitter
To pick up Chirpers?
-- Glenn M. Goffin
Second Survey said
Self-perpetuating group
But now the church rules
-- Glenn M. Goffin
This startown's new bars
Are too clean, well lit, open
No business for us
-- Glenn M. Goffin
"Traveller has always referred to the GM, DM, Keeper, Project Director, Stoyteller or whatever other names you want to give this person - "Evil Sadist" is quite common - as the Referee..." - T20 Handbook
Resturants in Traveller, "The smiling Vargr asks 'How'd ya like your K'Kree honey?'." -- Kevin Clement
"If you are going to something stupid, do it very fast so you die very,very quickly!" -- Bette Noire, corsair.
"The Shadow was a Zho. He knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men and can cloud minds." -- Kevin Clement
"The Enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less." Rule #29, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"Pillage then Burn." Rule #1, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"Do unto Others.", Rule #13, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.", Rule #27, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"Never turn you back on an enemy." Rule #9, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go." Rule #30, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"Ah for the good old days of the privateers, when brave men wore high heels, shoulder-length wigs, and frilly stuff." -- Kevin Clement
"What kind of person whould send two moderately attractive girls to be alone with a con full of gamers?"
"Good Question. Ask yourself next time you thing it's funny to send Mormon Missionares to my apartment at five in the morning." -- Something Postitive
"Any technology that is distinguishable from magic is not sufficiently advanced." -- Department of Weird and Unusual Science and Engineering motto, GURPS Illuminati University
"Sometimes you have fun, and sometimes the fun has you." -- Sergeant Schlock, Schlock Mercenary. April 7, 2003.
"According to Striker an Armor 0 starship hull is equivalent to "Armor 60", which is equivalent to 47 cm of TL A crystal iron. 5 cm of crystal iron will stop a FGMP-15." -- Uncle Bob
Newbie Marine: "So we can fire our high-energy weapons inside ships?"
Gunny: "No! You friggin' moron! Internal bulkheads are only vacuum rated, so you'll go straight through a whole pile of them, and dividing walls are even thinner!"
Newbie Marine: "So that's why we have these funny knives?"
Gunny: "Give me that cutlass and I'll show you why we have them!" -- Falkayn
"Ph34r t3h t20 but3r k|\|if3, ph34r it with gr34t ph34r." -- Kevin Clement
"This has to be a classic example of why GM's should crush players free will early" -- James Ramsay
"What many people thought of the others on the list, in the main, they kept to themselves, and treated the others with respect, even though deep down they were certain the other person was the twisted bonehead spawn of a hamster and a particularly foul refrigerator mold with the IQ of the average chunk of sandstone, and completely wrong to boot." -- Bruce Johnson on the Traveller Mailing List
"Coffee Makers and Jump Drives are somehow connected, trust me." -- Kevin Clement
>>EWWW! Ship sex, disgusting... (Ducks, runs)
>Where do you think small craft come from?
Well, when a Beowulf and a Subbie Merchant love each other VERY MUCH...
("Congratulations, sir, it's a Launch!")
-- Several people on the TML
"Terran Naval officers were dispatched throughout the Vilani Empire. . . . more than 100,000 naval officers were dispatched to the worlds of the Vilani Empire, to take control of the reigns of government, to direct local bureaucracies, and to maintain peace and order. In some cases, Terran ensigns were faced with governing a whole world, and commanders previously entrusted with no more than a light cruiser were know administering subsectors." -- Traveller Alien Module 6
"Hastur? Hastur? Is there a Hastur in the house...? Oh, bugger!"
"Maybe "cowardice" as a cultural trait makes it more likely that your society will be discovered as ancient, empty ruins when the Imperial scouts show up." -- Walt Smith
"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of good alcohol." -- Ralph Puke. An ethically challenged merchant and bullfighter.
I frequently enjoy explaining to people why flintlock pistols have rounded grips with big, heavy, hard knobs: "If you're lucky, it'll fire. Once. Then you flip her around and have a right fine club. The club always works." -- Zutroi
"If there is one action that qualifies as being dumber than bringing only a knife to a gun fight, it would be popping off with a mere assault rifle at an organized military unit that is equipped with effective body armor, heavy machine guns, automatic grenade launchers, and a heavy anti-tank missile launcher." -- LCDR Dennis Sterling, Baron Windhaven, Imperial Navy, Retired.
Covert is spelled with a "C".....
"Fusion rifles or bagpipes, one of them will get you in the end, m'lad." -- Doug Berry
Stuart Smalley's Daily Affirmations for the Inner Pirate Friday: "When I overtake that merchants vessel, I will not be playing those parent tapes in my head: "You wield a cutlass like a girl"..."Why can't you be more like Blackbeard's son?"..."Philosophy? What kind of major is that? It's useless!"
"I will tell you this much. A cool head and a willingness to fight will carry the day most times. The rest is merely form." -- Azul, NPC in Light Encounters PBEM game
"When you have a flamethrower, people pay attention." -- Tod Glenn
"I knew I was going to divorce my third husband when he saw me playing a target-shooting video game and said that he would have treated me better if he knew I could shoot like that." -- Kiri
"You *do* realize that there is probably a world *somewhere* such that the vegetation makes Hawaiian shirts good camouflage? And that the Scouts have been using it as an excuse to call such shirts "XXX-camo pattern" ever since." -- Leonard Erickson
"Political power comes out of the aperture of a spinal mount weapon." -- Attributed to Cleon I
Note to self: never buy marital aids where 'elastic limits' and 'shear strength of human flesh' were design considerations, or where the words 'megajoule' or 'degrees kelvin' appear anywhere in the owner's manual. -- Rod Basler, on the TML
"Other than Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan, Honor Harrington is currently the premier munchkin in popular fiction and d20 is currently the premier munchkin-friendly RPG system. This is a marriage made in heaven."
"It will sell big."
-- Larsen Whipsnade on the HH RPG
Guys into Role Playing talking about picking up chicks.
Now that really is science fiction. -- Tod Glenn
"There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'", Rule #37, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"The major mission of the Unified Armies of the Imperium is defense of their subsector. The Marines enforce the Imperial will on the ground." -- Doug Berry
"Four Vargr mercenaries beat four kings." -- Doug Berry
"Low berth #3 smells like beer for a reason." -- Mark C. Cook
"I favor the orbital meson platform as a room-clearing device." -- Chris Keelan
"What something is worth is what someone will pay for it. It's not even worth that until you're holding the money and out of weapons range." -- Craig Berry
"A good Traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving." -- Lau Tsu
It sounds like something this crew can handle. I can't guarantee they'll handle it particularly well.
"So if a half-elf marries a half-orc, and they have four kids, they might get a half-orc, half-elf, one half-half, and an elforc?" -- John Nowak
"The Wreath and short sword are the traditional symbols for the Imperial Navy" -- From Marc Miller's web site
"But I agree that we should let passed-out drunk Vargr lie." -- Glenn Goffin
"It is said Solomani think pacing; a Vilani, sitting; a Droyne, flying; and a Vargr, afterwards." -- Glenn Goffin
"Mon ami, until you have enjoyed a woman in a real low-gee environment, you really haven't lived." -- Overheard at Cafe Claude,a spacer's bar in San Francisco Megalopolis, Terra/Sol/Solomani Rim -- Glenn Goffin
"I've just been toying around with various ways to make Traveller harder SF without stroking it." -- Evo Plurion
"If the natives give us trouble, send a gunboat. If a TL15 destroyer cannot deal with a pack of TL9 space-rabble, some junior officer is not earning his pay." -- Les Howie
"For good or ill, I claim the concept of the rebellion and the assassination." -- Marc Miller
MiB - Marines in Battledress, "Protecting the Imperium from the Scum of the Galaxy"
"The Frederation Heavy Cruiser is a chick magnet, just ask any captain." -- Henry J. Cobb on the TML
"Never believe a magic-user is dead until you have seen them die at least three times." -- lesson learned by a gaming group.
"A Munchkin boat should be TL 15, or the player in question will never let you hear the end of it..." -- John Kwon on the TML
"Convey to the Solomani ambassador our displeasure and assure them that the next panty raid on one of our palaces shall be considered an act of war." -- Henry J. Cobb
TML flame bait award: "TNE was best when pirates used jump torpedoes with droptanks to communicate with their fighters" -- Endie
"Alien: Resurrection" is arguably the write up of a Traveller RPG session, the way the mercenaries are so dysfunctional. -- Dom Mooney on the TML
The Vargr of course have excellent quality warbots, but would prefer to sell them than use them. After all, they are stolen.
Power Projection: "It's all about going to other people's planets and making *them* do what *we* want." CPO Vandenbroucke, IIN Dreadnought 'Cleon the First' (a.k.a Dom Mooney)
When they came for the Star Trek conventioneers, I said nothing, because I never bothered to pick up even a coversational-level of Klingon.
And when they came for the model railroad enthusiasts, still I kept silent, because I just never felt like dealing with all that glue and cotton-swabs.
And when they came for the massively-multiplayer on-line role-playing gamers, I yet held my tongue, because it's difficult to remain IC ("in character") when you're dealing with horny fourteen-year-old boys who keep asking you "where the whorehouse is" and "Doth thee know of any fair maidens who wisheth to cyber?"
And then when they came for me, no one said anything, because there were no geeks, nerds, dorkwads or gaywads left to cry out.
-- Ace of Spades
"Seems that in the great cosmic game of life, so much is just a roll of the dice. Assignments, getting out, getting in, Command, heck, even survival. We're just travellers." -- Glenn Smith
"The trouble is that Halflings taste so good!" "They're like the foie gras of the Ogre world." -- Phil Kelly, Ogre Kingdoms designers' notes
"Casual players may pursue adventure or money or thrills, but ultimately serious players get caught up in events that require decisions about right and wrong. I think that's always intriguing." -- Marc Miller
"Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero." -- #17 in the list of 250 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
"Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick." -- # 73 in the list of 250 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
"I cannot base my ancient kung fu master on neither Gene Simmons or Bluto Blutarski." -- #94 in the list of 250 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
"I cannot play a elf with a scottish accent, nor a cajun dwarf." -- #188 in the list of 250 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
"...why wouldn't a Navy SEAL, a 33rd degree Arch Mason, a tabloid reporter, and the world's leading genetic experimenter all be in the 7-11 the night the werewolves attacked?" -- Suppressed Transmission, 12/29/05 by Ken Hite
Without a monster or two, it's hardly a quest, merely a gaggle of friends wandering around. -- Owl (from Winnie the Pooh)
The illustration in GT:GF of the drop pod that has landed on an enemy command post is priceless. One of the troopers coming out of the pod appears to be looking around, I can just imagine his conversation with the commander still in orbit. "Eagle-6, this is Eagle 4-2. We are down, I say again, we are down. We are right on the mark, but I do not see the objective. I say again, the objective is not in my view. Over" "4-2, this is Eagle 6 Actual. Breaker take your eyes, boy. We show you exactly on the drop coordinates. They see you, they've cut off all transmissions. Find it! Over." "Wilco, 6. Stand by.. Stand by... (laughter) Eagle-6, We have reached our objective and destroyed it, Roger? Over." "4-2, how in the hell do you go from not knowing where your target is to locating and destroying it in under five seconds? Over." "6, we landed on the poor bastards, Sir! This CP is completely crushed, I count five, I say again five bodies. Eagle 4-2 is moving on to secondary objective. Over." "Umm.. Good work, I suppose. Head to secondary. Eagle-6 Actual out." -- Douglas E. Berry
"If you've got the balls to be a space pirate, you've probably got an inflated sense of your abilities."
"I've never met a GM who actually *looked* at the dice after about the first three months on the job. Throwing dice is a ritualized signal to the players that something interesting is about to happen, nothing more." -- Craig Berry
"The ruleset is not that path, mearly a gateway to the path" -- Zen and the Art of Roleplaying
"Maybe you don't understand the situation here on Esalin. I command an Imperial garrison of fifty Marines, and give oversight and advice to the local wheeled light cavalry battalion. I eat my breakfast eighty meters from four thousand Zhodani troopers who train every day to kill me. So don't for one second think you're gonna come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous." -- Col. Narkhanamesi Resirer, ImpMar (in conversation with ImpMarJAGDept officers, ca. 1104), channeled by Glenn M. Goffin
"That which does not kill you has made a tactical error" -- Rule #35, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
"You don't have to be faster than the dragon. You just have to be faster than the elf."
"You know what governments are like. You let them patrol your 100D limit for smugglers, and next thing you know they are fining your magma for being too hot for consumption, and having a heterogeneous mineral mix." -- The Raptor on the TML
"Role Playing Games are Community Theater without the stage." Stuart Schiffman, a graduate of Brandeis Universityís theater program.
"Fantasy Football is D&D for people who used to beat up people who played D&D."
'We're ten parsecs from Regina, we've got a full tank of LH-two, a half pack of cigarettes, I've dimmed the lights, and we're wearing sunglasses.'
'Let's jump.' -- Leslie Bates
"In D&D, Wizards are better. Period. At any level, in any situation. If you don't play a half-elf bard/wizard in D&D you're a fool, because in a fair game you have lowered your chances of survival dramatically." -- Michael Taylor
"Bartenders tend to get nervous when people bring crew served weapons to a knife fight..." -- Loren Wiseman on the TML
"Stop it with the negative waves, Moriarity! That bridge will be up. It's a mothering BEAUTIFUL bridge and it WILL be up." -- Oddball
"The PGMP and FGMP are weapons of such unbelievable destructive potential that they are never deployed without due care and forethought - except by player characters." -- RTT preview documents
"Actually, meson guns are a gift from the Terrans to the Vilani. (I use the word "gift" because the saying that "it's better to give than to receive" certainly applies to meson gun fire....)" -- John Groth on the TML
"The wreath and the Short Sword are the traditional symbols of the Imperial Navy."
Elf Lesbians: Way hotter than regular lesbians.
Scroomed = Screwed + Doomed!
"To just dismiss infinity as a neat concept misses the point, IMHO. They are real, they are useful, and to claim otherwise is racist. Down with the inifinity haters!" -- Greg on the TML
"Hey, Sgt Ikvar? What's the difference between an Imperial Marine assault shuttle and a trade negotiation shuttle?"
"Set the skin coloration pattern to 547C, rather than Assault Camouflage. Set the IFF code to ITN, and turn on the civilian transponders." -- Dan on the TML
"Every X-Boat Captain needs at least one sheep." -- Douglas Knapp on the TML
"I don't know about your group, but mine believe in chutzpa and a doctors bag full of high tech explosives and combat grade pharmacology. And if that doesn't work insidious amount of carefully applied fire power." -- Evyn MacDude on the TML
To a ship's engineer, everything is spare parts.
All Vegans are overt K'Kree Sympathizers.
"Getting a berth on the Beowulf" is slang for someone who has died far from home, and will never return there. -- Douglas Berry on the TML
"You haven't lived until you died during character creation."
"The difference between salvage and piracy is just a matter of timing." -- Captain Zag Zagig
"You can learn a lot about local technology and culture by what people are trying to kill you with."
"The Imperium runs on Imperial Might, Superior Strategy, and Coffee." -- Grand Admiral Gaiishev gev'Hault, Archduke Domain of Gastion
Traveller, the game of Interstellar trucking.
Quotes collected from the net by Eclipse
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